GrowingOlderHopeWiser

My brother Richard (Ricky) is one year older than me. I don’t get to see him anymore because he has wholly withdrawn from the family outside his nucleus family. I miss him dearly. As children, we were silently close, always playing quietly without saying a word. He was my defender and hero whenever any bully approached me.

We were separated at a very young age. I was 7 years old. I went to live with strangers, people unknown to me. Richard was 8 years old. He went to live with our grandfather and grandmother. They were my father’s parents and lived in the suburbs of Long Island, New York. Eventually, I landed with my great-aunts Mary and Julia and lived in New York. I only got to see him during the holidays.

Our Igloo

I remember one particular Christmas, building an igloo out of a large pile of snow. Richard and I silently and purposely piled up snow and dug out a cave in the large snow pile. It was a freezing day; as the day progressed, it got colder and windy. When we finally finished our igloo, we went inside and sat. We admired how comfortable and warm it felt inside. We remained silent.

We worked silently all day long

Richard grew up and joined the army quickly. He wanted to escape his grandfather, who was very oppressive and demanding of him. The next time I saw him, I was living with my mother in Miami, Florida. He came down to visit with his new fiancee. He wanted to introduce her to us. He then moved on, got married, and adopted two siblings. He and his wife could not have children of their own and family was very important to him. They became champion foster parents and ended up adopting many other children including my sisters children.

Richard is now retired from his long career as an Internal Revenue agent and eventually head regional director. My niece reports that he has become a recluse. He seldom ventures out of his home office space and interacts very little with the family. He is never on social media and remains silent.

I hope to someday soon make the long journey from Florida to Buffalo, New York. My brother lives there. I want to reconnect with Richard.