It is all about bodies and Buddha’s perspective on attachment to the body. What can I say about my lifelong struggle with weight? My mother called me “Mamota”(Big Mama). I was born nine and a half pounds, so I was a big mama! At the time, everyone loved big babies, which was considered a sign of a healthy baby. But, as I got older and bigger, that became less cute and less healthy.

Aunt Mary and the hefty baby

I went up and down in weight my whole life, trying every diet plan: Dr. Atkins, Dr. Siegal’s cookie diet, Weight Watchers, Overeater’s Anonymous, Paleo, Low-Carb diet, pills, purging, and finally, when I could not stand it anymore, Roux-en-Y surgery (gastric bypass). I suffered so much, 318 pounds on a 5 foot 1 inch frame. At this point, I did not care if I died in surgery or after the surgery. The excessive weight had to be gone. It was my attachment to my body that brought me to this point of desperation.

Obsessed with food, ashamed of my body

This blog is about growing older and hoping to become wiser. Wisdom came to me after listening to Buddhist teachings on attachments; I was able to let go of my obsession with my body. Buddha said that we suffer because of our attachments. Attachment can be attachments to our body and very painful obsessions with how we look and are perceived by others. Am I too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall? It goes on and on.

Weighing in on wisdom

When I finally let go, the weight came off steadily-there were no more ups and downs. I feel liberated and comfortable now around 150 pounds and am at peace with my appearance.

I hope you share some thoughts about your body journey with me. I know I’m not the only one out here.